Constant Controversy
November 22, 2003 | 2 Comments
Gotta love it! So a week ago today I made my editorial debut in the Orlando Sentinel’s New Voices section proclaiming how college is easy. Well evidently my little article that could turned into the talk of the town overnight. People either loved it or hated it. They either laughed or got steamed. At first I was kind of upset that people didn’t take it for what it was: pure comedy–with a dash of the truth. But then I quickly decided to bask in the controversy that I had created. It’s not everyday you can bring a town up in arms. Then, mid week, I found out that not only were people talking about “When College is Easy,” they were writing about it too. In fact, two reactionary opinions are being put into today’s issue of the Sentinel. In true “fair and balanced” style, the wonderful editor of New Voices Michael Murphy ran both a conforming and dissenting opinion. So, without further adieu, I bring you links to these articles:
(You may have to create a user name for the Sentinel’s web site–this is free and they won’t spam you.)
Reality After College
Written by Florida State alumni Tony Salvagio
It’s Your Choice
Written by Lone-Palm Creations’ own Shannon Rich
Aww Yeah
November 15, 2003 | 6 Comments
Updated: November 17, 2003
I’ve taken a bit of flack from some of you guys out there and I just wanted to say that my article is only based on truth. I over exaggerated certain points and added detail where I felt necessary for comedic elements. I do in fact take very tough classes and this semester have had to work harder then ever before. I have actually found myself more stressed out and bogged down with school work in the last few weeks then in my entire schooling career. I write as an outlet for my stress and I try to make it light-hearted and funny. I in no way meant to disrespect the school or anyone connected with the school. So, please do not take offense for my article because its sole purpose is to entertain.
So the other day I promised a big announcement–I hope you are ready. I, the one and only Justin Cox and owner/founder/chief author of Lone Palm Creations have made it big time. I have made the jump from online media to print media. So if you all will procure yourself a copy of the New York Times… oh wait, no, that’s next year. But you do have to start somewhere. It’s currently just after one in the morning here in Florida and as I type this, an article I wrote is being printed in millions of copies of the Orlando Sentinel–the local paper for, you guessed it, Orlando. If you can’t see through my sarcastic humor, I am pretty excited. And this is only the beginning. I’m going to continue to write and hopefully, continue to be published until one day, yes one day I too can embellish facts and invent stories like a real journalist–or something like that. Maybe. Anyway, enough bantering. Below is the article that one day will be known as “the one that started it all.” Enjoy it. Oh yeah, and if you don’t believe me, here’s the link to the article at the Sentinel’s web site: Orlando Sentinel
“When College is Easy”
Originally printed in The Orlando Sentinel on Saturday, November 15th, 2003:
In high school all the teachers would say “you better shape up, because college is much tougher then you may think.” Well, I’m currently in my third year of college and I have to disagree. Granted, I have taken some challenging courses while up here, though, for the most part college has been easy.
One of the biggest problems is horrible professors–or more often then not grad students posing as professors. Case in point, last semester I took meteorology being taught by a grad student. He cared more about what we thought of him then the weather and as a result I have no idea what low barometric pressure means but I can make one hell of a hurricane chart. I’m currently taking a law class from a professor who will remain nameless–though does hold a pretty prominent state-government job and looks a lot like George Costanza when he tries on the toupee. This professor, after giving us our first test, disappeared from the face of the planet for not one, not two, but THREE weeks! How am I, a diligent young college student, supposed to learn anything when the professor doesn’t even want to show up to class?
Another problem with today’s college scene is some of the tests–they don’t test students’ knowledge, they test our memories. I’m currently in a class where both questions and answers to twenty five percent of each test are handed out beforehand by the professor. The only catch is that you memorize the answer and write them, neatly, word for word with the proper spelling (which is actually a problem for me because I cannot spell for ship–see, what did I tell you?).
This is not to say, however, that all of my college courses are this easy. I do have some that are quite difficult, where you actually have to think, not to mention dodge the occasional eraser the professor throws when wrong answers are given in class. But this all does lead me to wonder, is college necessary for success? Quentin Tarantino dropped out of the ninth grade. Bill Gates did pretty well for quitting college as did Ashton Kutcher, though I wouldn’t say he’s done anything substantial in his life, except maybe Demi Moore.
But I digress. The point is that college is obviously not challenging us enough. I mean, if it were I wouldn’t be writing this article at four in the morning. Instead I would be studying or sleeping soundly, my mind contently filled with quantum physics or something like that. But until that happens, I’ll make the most of my eraser throwing professors who hand out grades–when they actually come to class.
Back to Reality
April 21, 2003 | 3 Comments
Well, it’s been a fun weekend, and then some. It all started Thursday with a trip to Atlanta. That’s right, Atlanta. Jimmy Buffett and the Coral Reefer Band were playing in Atlanta, so, being the massive Parrothead that I am, I of course had to go. So I gathered up some friends and headed to Atlanta. We stopped for lunch at an Atlanta (are you wondering how many times I can say Atlanta in one article?) staple, the Varsity. If you’ve not been there, you must go, now. They’ve got the best and greasiest food ever made. We’re talking onion rings that EACH contains a lethal amount of grease. But it tastes good and I love it. After the Varsity, we continued our northbound trek and stopped at my aunt’s house in Lawrenceville, just north of Atlanta. After some down time, it was off to the concert.
The long and short of it, the concert was very wet and muddy. Got to love the outdoor shows. A full set list will be added to the Buffett portion of my site when I feel like doing so. It wasn’t the best concert I’ve been to. I was glad to see that Jimmy played some stuff that he usually doesn’t, I enjoy that stuff more. Yes I’m a Parrothead but no I don’t cream myself every time I hear a song off Songs You Know By Heart. I’d rather hear him play “The Wino and I Know” or “That’s What Living is to Me” or “We Are the People Our Parents Warned Us About.” But, it seems like anyone that goes to the concerts anymore have only heard the songs Buffett has on Songs You Know By Heart which is all fine and dandy, but when it comes to other songs that they cant sing along to in a drunken stupor they then talk to their friends and ignore the concert. This again, is all fine and dandy but that prevents the true fans that are there to hear Buffett play, i.e. me, from actually hearing Bubba sing. During this concert I felt something I had never felt at a Buffett concert before, and that was detest. Namely because the one part of Jimmy’s show that I look forward to every year is his acoustic set. I love it because he plays songs that I love and they just sound wonderful acoustically. However this year I didn’t get to enjoy the acoustic set because of the people talking and gallivanting around the lawn section of the concert. I also did another thing that I hadn’t done at a Buffett concert before, and that was leave before the encores. I said at the time it was to beat the traffic as we were in dire need of gas, but I really didn’t want to stick around because I wasn’t going to enjoy them. I kick myself now of course seeing that Jimmy played “Southern Cross” as well as “Pacing the Cage” which I absolutely love, but, that’s the way it goes I guess. The only true saving grace amongst the mud and noise was that after trekking across THE ENTIRE mud covered concert venue in an effort to get closer to where we parked, I ran into Casey who promptly ran up to me which pretty much made my night. If it hadn’t been for her, I probably would have left the concert pretty pissed off and disappointed. So thank you Casey, you made my day, as you do every time I see you. After the concert we went back to my aunt’s where I slept more soundly then I have in weeks.
The next morning we got up and headed down to Orlando. Thankfully the 500 mile drive only took around six and a half hours. To recap I had traveled roughly 750 miles within a 24 hour period. And the weekend was just starting.
In Orlando I had friends from Tallahassee come into town to visit for Easter. Friday night we met up with Earl and Jessica which is always fun. We played Pictionary and joked around till late at night. The next day, we’re now to Saturday, led to Islands of Adventure.
My friends from school all went to the wonderful place known as IOA by us local freaks and had a great time. Lines weren’t horrible and the rides, as always were lots of fun. Every time I ride it, I can’t help but think of how cool the Spider-Man ride is. It’s probably the best ride ever. The day at the park was great. It was made even better because Ryan’s uncle got us all tickets. He came with us and was really a nice guy. This is a big thank you to Ryan’s uncle. After IOA came a well welcomed dinner and the movie Pumpkin which is, to say the least, interesting.
Then came Sunday, Easter Sunday. I went to church–both services–as I do on all “big occasion” Sundays though this time was accompanied by my friends from school. The services were, well, not great. The sermon was horrible and I had the pleasure of hearing it twice. If only our assistant pastor would be given the chance to speak because he is a lot more entertaining that our senior pastor–who thankfully will be leaving in June. At least our church’s Easter tradition of singing the Hallelujah Chorus was upheld. It sounded wonderful.
After church came the Easter festivities. This involved Easter egg hunting, badminton playing, and of course, lots and lots of eating — and some picture taking. Always love the Easter festivities. Then came the ride home.
Now it’s back to reality. The fun is over. I found out that I completely failed my finance test from last week and now passing the entire class could be in jeopardy. Returning to Tallahassee has brought me back to some situations I am tired of dealing with as well as opened me up to more that I have to deal with. Regardless of the situation, the test grades and what not, I always end up getting screwed in the end. But, c’est la vie, that’s life right? Emerson once wrote that “every sweet has it’s sour; every evil it’s good” which was so wonderfully retold in Vanilla Sky. I guess I’m tasting the sour right now. Hopefully the summer, which is now less than two weeks away, will bring something really sweet my way. And to think, I only have to get through five finals first!
Well that’s that. I know this article is a little drab but you gotta write about what you know right? At least that’s what Mark Twain once said. Mr. Twain also wrote the words that inspired Buffett’s “That’s What Living is to Me” that goes: “Be good and you will be lonesome/Be lonesome and you will be free/Live a lie, and you will live to regret it/That’s what living is to me.” Well, sometimes, that is what living is to me. Until next time.
Back in the Day
April 1, 2003 | 2 Comments
I know, I know, I know. Yes, it has been quite awhile since last I posted. Though, there is good reason for this, and, some of those reasons will be included in this article.
See, I have had quite an eventful… well, week I assume? Last Wednesday night I did something I haven’t done in years (you will notice that I will repeat this statement a few times over the course of this article). What was it you ask? Well here you go, I’ll tell you. I went go-karting and played laser tag. It was quite fun. It reminded me of the days that Q-Zar was still open as well as that go-kart place that used to be next to I-4 at I-Drive which is now a hotel; if you’re from Orlando you know what I’m talking about. But yeah, it was a ton of fun. In laser tag I came in second with like a bazillion points.
Anyway, last Friday night was Mike’s 20th birthday part (Mike of course is my neighbor and future roommate). So, in grand tradition, we threw him a party; but we first took him out to dinner at Outback. Gots to love me some ribs. The party was fun. Mike and Brian sang the Elephant Love Duet, I learned how to salsa dance (kind of), and we made a loud ruckus until early, early the next morning.
That next day, Saturday, unfolded with great fun of its own. It all started with a trip to the Student Life Building to watch Catch Me If You Can which is a great movie. Later that night I played something I haven’t played in literally years–I mean, we’re talking 5 or 6 years here people. There were six of us who got together and turned the lights down low and the volume up and played “Nightmare.” Now, if you don’t know, “Nightmare” is a video/board game where, well, basically you bow down to The Gatekeeper who likes to be mean and make life difficult. He especially loved me. Not only was I his “old one” but I was also his “chosen one.” We did win the game, though it came down to the wire. With 20 seconds left, Caity hit the stop button–but in true fashion, the video started again and ran for another five or six seconds. It was tense but lots of fun.
After the game, now around 2am, we attempted to play “Lite as a Feather, Stiff as a Board” though it didn’t really work out too well. Regardless, the night was still young. A trip to Wal-Mart was in the works and by 3ish we were there, gallivanting around the store. Did you know that they sell Peanut Butter Slices along with Cheese Slices? Yeah, its pretty gross but they do it and evidently people buy it–according to the women stocking the shelves. It’s interesting to note though, that the product line has been discontinued. Funny thing.
Well, as you can imagine Wal-Mart is quite fun late at night, or early in the morning. We all bought fun hats: Fire Chief helmets for the guys and a “Ghetto Little Bow Peep Hat” for Amanda. Matt and I also bought swords for good measure. After Wal-Mart we took our new gear and headed over to Whataburger for breakfast. Needless to say we got some interesting looks from the numerous cops “taking a break” in the restaurant.
Upon returning to campus we decided it was time to capture the moment, which meant taking pictures in the once fun filled but now boring existence known as Bryan Hall. That’s right; it was time to go back. Night Staff is quite friendly at 5 in the morning. It was quite sad, though, that BHall wasn’t as hopping as it was when we lived there. I guess we were the end of an era. Oh well. C’est la vie.
Anyway, after some much needed sleep which didn’t begin until after the sun came up, Sunday brought forth it’s own fun times. Sunday night a bunch of us got together and watched a movie we hadn’t seen in years (see, I told you I’d say that a lot). I bet you’ll never guess which movie it was… Come on, guess… Ok, it was The Neverending Story. Laugh it up, but you know you’d watch it too. It is funny, though, to watch this movie now being much wiser. Bet you didn’t know that The Neverending Story is full of sexual references and innuendos. I mean, just ask Erin what her theory on the Southern Oracle is; and don’t forget about the massive breasts that are featured in about every scene while Bastion is attempting to pass through the first set of gates on the way to the Southern Oracle. Oh it’s fun to overanalyze things.
But yeah, that is where I’ve been for the last week or so. Not to mention the fact that somewhere in there I’ve taken three tests with another on its way. Aint life’s balancing act fun? I’d also like to thank everyone who responded with their support for my last article. I guess I didn’t realize that there was as much support as I had first believed. Anyway, that’s that. Until next time.
Spring Break 2003
March 19, 2003 | 3 Comments
A lot of you may be wondering where in the hell I’ve been. I mean, it’s been two weeks since my last post. Well, everyone can stop worrying, because yes, I am alive and doing quite well if you ask me. So where have I been? Well boys and girls, being a college student it becomes my annual right to take part in the glorious holiday known as Spring Break. That’s right, Spring Break. A wonderful week long holiday where everything else in the world is pushed aside and nothing but fun times are brought in. Spring Break 2003 (SB03) was quite momentous; numerous things happened — more so than can be expressed in this article. Though, for the purpose of entertainment and, well, history, I’ll see what I can do.
SB03 started with a little running around, a field that is. Ever try to play Frisbee at night? No? Well how about with a glow in the dark Frisbee? Still no? Well, let me tell you it doesn’t really work to well. Though, my friends and I had fun trying. There is nothing like running through a large, wet, grass field carrying a Frisbee in the middle of the night being chased by a half naked guy trying to catch you while girls are screaming “kill the man with the Frisbee.” So much fun. Good times, good times. On a side note I’ll have you know that at the end of that night (and by end I mean around 12:45 AM) I purchased The Boondock Saints for only $9.99 at Blockbuster video. Mad props to my man Wayne for finding it for me.
Well, that was the weekend before SB03 officially began. It’s always good to get going early; well, not always but sometimes and in this case it is true. Anyway, the main portion of SB03 consisted of my roommate Brian, my future roommate Mike, my friend Kyle, and I taking a week long trip to the wonderful world called Daytona Beach, Florida. We stayed in a great hotel called the Treasure Island Resort. The room had a full kitchen complete with pots and pans and such, had a balcony overlooking the ocean and, well all the other stuff hotel rooms have. Judging by the view from the balcony and the price we paid. I think it’s safe to say we won this week.
We pretty much spent the week hanging out with all the people in our hotel, who apparently were all from Ohio. We also found it in our best interest to laugh at, well, everyone for various reasons. One girl disserved our laughing at because she was, well, a Swamp Donkey (just picture it). Mike found it in himself to insult a deaf guy, Kyle, well, never mind. My good friend Casey (for those that don’t know Casey and I will be getting married when we turn 30) managed to come over and hang out one evening as did another friend Travis who’s car ended up getting towed in the process. Oh well, c’est la vie. I also managed to fit in an Atlanta Braves Spring Training game. Maddox pitched 4 innings of no hit ball and the Braves went on the beat the Dodgers 5-3.
On Friday, we left the Treasure Island Resort and headed for my house for the remainder of the weekend. The highlight of the final weekend of SB03 was the massive, if not epic, pool part thrown at my place last Saturday night. It was the first ever merging of my Orlando friends and my Tallahassee friends along with my brother, mom and step dad in the mix. It went over quite well if I do say so myself. There were a bunch of people there and I probably could count and give a complete number but, well, I choose not to (it’s late and I’m getting tired). It was a great time. Everyone ended up in the pool at some point, my mom and Caity shared some wine, tons of meat was consumed (except baby meat), and many poop stories were shared. It’s good when that happens because they are funny. Anyway, the pool party was a great cap for a great Spring Break.
I’m just going to end it here.
Fin.