DeVron: The Untold Story

September 17, 2008 | Justin

It all started a little less than a year ago in a small garage in Los Angeles. Legendary and militant solo artist Smash decided to put together a band. Many people auditioned, but only three were accepted. On that fateful night, Lord Pantsville, Esq. was born.

Lord Pantsville, Esq. on stage.

At the time DeVron was just another member of the undead roaming the earth, wondering what was to come next. A talented bassest, DeVron decided to audition for Smash’s band. It was a move that would change his unlife forever. DeVron joined flamboyant vocalist McGillicuttie and bikini-clad drummer Foible XL^2 as the chosen three in Smash’s newly formed Lord Pantsville, Esq.

The band rose to astronomical popularity worldwide in unfathomable time. Lord Pantsville, Esq was playing extended sets to sold out crowds in towns as close as Seattle and as far away as DeVron’s own hometown of Stockholm. The band had so many fans their manager told them they were no longer capable of gaining any more, the height of popularity had officially been achieved. This was the beginning of the end for Lord Pantsville, Esq.

Foible XL^2 was told to put on a shirt one too many times and decided to lay down her sticks once and for all. McGuillicuttie moved back to San Francisco to see what opportunities were waiting for him there. Smash went off to live in the mountains and is rumored to have started a militant cult. DeVron wandered back to Stockholm to return to the world of the undead. Lord Pantsville, Esq. was officially disbanded. There are currently rumors that the epic group may reunite for one endless set in Moscow sometime later this year, but at the time of publication no date has been booked.

DeVron, the worlds best undead bassist.

This, however, is not where the story ends. After returning to Stockholm, DeVron decided to return to the underground undead scene and played pickup gigs at a local zombie club. The club DeVron frequented was also very popular with American tourists — thanks to Lord Pantsville, Esq., there has been an increase in interest in the Stockholm zombie scene. One such tourist, Sandy Starfleet, sang in the club one night and again changed DeVron’s unlife. DeVron could see his new goal, create a band of his own and return to the stages of the world. He gave the hipster product of hippie parents the lead spot in his new band and decided to let her name it. Thus, DeVron and Sandy Starfleet formed Requiem for a Dweeb.

Sandy Starfleet

A little known fact is that DeVron originally wanted to call the band DeVron Comes Alive. Sandy thought this was particularly funny considering DeVron is, in fact, an undead zombie not capable of actually being alive. Sandy started to call DeVron a dweeb and then settled on the band’s actual name.

DeVron and Sandy Starfleet spent the next few days recruiting the final two members of Requiem for a Dweeb. The first was Lead Pipe Palin, a little known son of the Vice Presidential nominee, Sarah, who had been living out of a van prior to joining the band. The final member, Annyong, was the basis for a character on Arrested Development. Though, according to her (yes, her), Ron Howard didn’t really do her character justice.

DeVron and company have been playing to sold out shows across Stockholm and are preparing to tour the rest of eastern Europe. They even played a recent benefit show to promote equal rights for the undead everywhere.

Requiem for a Dweeb’s future isn’t certain. DeVron is hoping to return to the glory he once had while Sandy Starfleet is hoping to make a crap-ton of money and cash out before DeVron eats her. Will they rise to legendary heights and follow in the steps of Lord Pantsville, Esq. or will Requiem for a Dweeb fail out of one too many mystery sets and fade into musical obscurity? Only time will tell.

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