Aww Yeah

Updated: November 17, 2003
I’ve taken a bit of flack from some of you guys out there and I just wanted to say that my article is only based on truth. I over exaggerated certain points and added detail where I felt necessary for comedic elements. I do in fact take very tough classes and this semester have had to work harder then ever before. I have actually found myself more stressed out and bogged down with school work in the last few weeks then in my entire schooling career. I write as an outlet for my stress and I try to make it light-hearted and funny. I in no way meant to disrespect the school or anyone connected with the school. So, please do not take offense for my article because its sole purpose is to entertain.

So the other day I promised a big announcement–I hope you are ready. I, the one and only Justin Cox and owner/founder/chief author of Lone Palm Creations have made it big time. I have made the jump from online media to print media. So if you all will procure yourself a copy of the New York Times… oh wait, no, that’s next year. But you do have to start somewhere. It’s currently just after one in the morning here in Florida and as I type this, an article I wrote is being printed in millions of copies of the Orlando Sentinel–the local paper for, you guessed it, Orlando. If you can’t see through my sarcastic humor, I am pretty excited. And this is only the beginning. I’m going to continue to write and hopefully, continue to be published until one day, yes one day I too can embellish facts and invent stories like a real journalist–or something like that. Maybe. Anyway, enough bantering. Below is the article that one day will be known as “the one that started it all.” Enjoy it. Oh yeah, and if you don’t believe me, here’s the link to the article at the Sentinel’s web site: Orlando Sentinel

“When College is Easy”
Originally printed in The Orlando Sentinel on Saturday, November 15th, 2003:

In high school all the teachers would say “you better shape up, because college is much tougher then you may think.” Well, I’m currently in my third year of college and I have to disagree. Granted, I have taken some challenging courses while up here, though, for the most part college has been easy.

One of the biggest problems is horrible professors–or more often then not grad students posing as professors. Case in point, last semester I took meteorology being taught by a grad student. He cared more about what we thought of him then the weather and as a result I have no idea what low barometric pressure means but I can make one hell of a hurricane chart. I’m currently taking a law class from a professor who will remain nameless–though does hold a pretty prominent state-government job and looks a lot like George Costanza when he tries on the toupee. This professor, after giving us our first test, disappeared from the face of the planet for not one, not two, but THREE weeks! How am I, a diligent young college student, supposed to learn anything when the professor doesn’t even want to show up to class?

Another problem with today’s college scene is some of the tests–they don’t test students’ knowledge, they test our memories. I’m currently in a class where both questions and answers to twenty five percent of each test are handed out beforehand by the professor. The only catch is that you memorize the answer and write them, neatly, word for word with the proper spelling (which is actually a problem for me because I cannot spell for ship–see, what did I tell you?).

This is not to say, however, that all of my college courses are this easy. I do have some that are quite difficult, where you actually have to think, not to mention dodge the occasional eraser the professor throws when wrong answers are given in class. But this all does lead me to wonder, is college necessary for success? Quentin Tarantino dropped out of the ninth grade. Bill Gates did pretty well for quitting college as did Ashton Kutcher, though I wouldn’t say he’s done anything substantial in his life, except maybe Demi Moore.

But I digress. The point is that college is obviously not challenging us enough. I mean, if it were I wouldn’t be writing this article at four in the morning. Instead I would be studying or sleeping soundly, my mind contently filled with quantum physics or something like that. But until that happens, I’ll make the most of my eraser throwing professors who hand out grades–when they actually come to class.